Rome Wasn’t Built in a Day
I’ll wait. I, after all, have my entire life ahead of me. I cannot expect a change over night either. I have to be patient. Not for anyone else’s sake, but for my own. For my own peace of mind and for the optimum functioning of my system. For, only upon working optimally, in the first place, will I even begin getting there. I’ll wait. I, after all, have my entire life ahead of me!
How does reading this make you feel? Do you feel calm? Or are you confused?
“What is this guy talking about ?”
Well, I guess I’m trying to say that we must learn to be patient. Especially when it comes to realizing our goals and meeting our expectations of other people. Not only patient, I’m also asking you to be realistic about it too.
More often than not, we burden ourselves immensely with unreal expectations. I have always seen a need in myself to be gratified immediately, be it emotional gratification or materialistic. If I have wanted something, I’ve wanted it immediately. Not getting it has only caused me to panic. Been there, felt that?
Panic is never a good thing. Psychologically, it is known to cloud your mind and block it from being able to think constructively. Physically, it leaves you breathless and shaky, and in need of help. Panic arises from a crisis like situation — but remember you define your own crisis.
A crisis and eventually panic can be avoided simply by gauging a situation objectively. The objectives once clear need to be assigned timelines appropriately. Whether it is a change you want to see in a loved one or it is a habit you want to break or a goal you want to achieve, give it time. Breathe.
Break the larger task at hand into smaller modules, and give each module generous time. As you achieve smaller goals you’re motivated and by giving it enough time you don’t panic. It’s like scaling a mountain, instead of thinking about getting to the peak straight away, you create smaller milestones and just keep achieving them.
In the jet set world that we live today in, it can be difficult to think this way. We need what we want and we need it now after all. We can barely even wait for YouTube to buffer a video let alone wait for years to accomplish a goal. The challenge though is exactly that. We must be able to develop this skill of not just being patient but being able to see things in their longer scheme. Can you imagine if we pressurized babies to start walking the day they were born, or expected them to exhibit table manners from day one? We don’t, because we know that’s not being real.
Setting goals and attaching relevant timelines is also exactly that — being real. This provides space for one to breathe. Especially in relationships, where we have great expectations from the other person. What could be very obvious to the industrious father is not as obvious to the just graduated son. The skills need to be taught first and then time must be allowed for those practices to follow through. This ensures trust building between the two parties and more importantly averts a panic like situation which in turn avoids adverse consequences.
When you allow yourself time the end result is a sustainable one. It is not a makeshift or a temporary one. In the prcoess of allowing yourself time you also manage to ease out and see things from the other’s perspective. In relationships after all priorities can be different. What is very important to you might not be as relevant to your partner. Understanding this difference of importance and bridging the expectation gap is far more important than to simply expect change and that requires objective setting along with appropriate timelines.
Another subtle aspect of giving time would also be the ability to let go. Very important and as relevant, maybe a topic for some other day though.
Whether it is building a fortune, or having that perfect relationship, I’ll wait. I, after all, have my entire life ahead of me. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day! Having said that, I’ll start off today for good things come to those who start.
Thank you for reading!
